I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
