Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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