Me too!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
