One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
