I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
