i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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