White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize