I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
