trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
