I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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