Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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