this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
