that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
