Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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