I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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