I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
