They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
