Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Randomize
