as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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