if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
