just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
