i don't like sucking hair
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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