do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
