We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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