I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
