So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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