break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize