when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
