They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
