Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
