You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize