you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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