So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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