I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
