It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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