It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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