oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
