I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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