Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
