I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
its liver damage thursday
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
