why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
