No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
