I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
