You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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