it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
