Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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