I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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