Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
