do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
