i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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