yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
