We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize