just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
