So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
