i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
