he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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