Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
