We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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