there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Pants are for mortals
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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