Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
