11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
