2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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