Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
